Honesty, Healing, and Growth

The problem with social media is that is rarely shows the bad parts of life. It rarely shows the nights of crying, the days of depression, the anxiety attacks, the fear, the waves of grief and shame, the doubt, and the overwhelming pain from sin and this broken world. The faces are there, smiling perfectly. The encouraging words are put out for all to see. But the days of heartache leading to that split second of a smile aren’t shown. The tears and sweat are rarely seen in a fitness post. The scribbles of incoherent words in the journal are rarely revealed for all the thousands of virtual acquaintances to see. The tears, stress, ounces of worries, late-night panic attacks, and college debts are rarely the forefront of a graduation picture. The reality of life – it disappears in the single click of a button. The tap, swipe, and edit of the finger.

We walk around masked – putting a good face for those we love, for those we care about, and for those we want to impress. But behind those masks, do you really know what they are going through? Do you know their story? Are you willing to listen to their story? The stigma of perfection is a trap. The idea that we cannot have mistakes in our lives, especially as Christians, is wrong. If we are not willing to accept other people’s mistakes and love them despite their brokenness, then we aren’t willing to accept our own brokenness. Not every pot shatters in the same way. Likewise, not every soul touched by grief, pain, heartache, and sorrow will respond in the same way, process in the same way, and heal in the same way. Some people want a quick fix, others try alternative paths. Some are short term, and some are long term. However, we must always remember that the only true source of healing is found in Christ. While it is easy to find thousands of self-help ways to healing, it is so crucial that Christians go back to Scripture. Healing comes from God. No matter the circumstance, the inherent nature of God never changes. If we get angry at him for not answering our prayers for this specific circumstance then we are discrediting who God is. 

It’s difficult. Actually, it’s REALLY hard to break years of habits, mindsets, insecurities, and soul ties.

But it’s possible.

I’ve felt deep shame. I’ve made very poor choices. I’ve given pieces of myself away in hopes that it would make them stay. I’ve been desperate enough to just be enough. It’s not easy. I can’t pretend that it is or will be. I’ve had to pray to the Lord that He would require what I was attracted to because what I’m attracted to isn’t healthy for me. It’s just not. But relearning how to date in a God-honoring way is worth it. For my heart, my relationship with God, my self-confidence, my future marriage, my future children. I’ve been labeled a “bad girl” who feared above all that I could never find a “good man” who would want me. But that’s simply not true.

Grace upon grace. Go and sin no more.

As God romances your heart, let Him tell you about the type of love to hold out for. This is the type of love that reminds you daily of God’s love and how much He loves you.

You, my friend, are not alone in this battle. You’re not the only one who has settled for less than God intended. You deserve more and you can do better. Remember the hope that Christ offers. Circumstances will change, but God will never change. Cling to that truth.

In Christ Always,


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